Abbott and Costello

This one is old, but it still never fails to make me laugh...


Costello calls to buy a computer from Abbott

Abbott: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

Costello: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer.

Abbott: Mac?

Costello: No, the name's Lou.

Abbott: Your computer?

Costello: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.

Abbott: Mac?

Costello: I told you, my name's Lou.

Abbott: What about Windows?

Costello: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?

Abbott: Do you want a computer with Windows?

Costello: I don't know. What will I see when I look in the windows?

Abbott: Wallpaper.

Costello: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.

Abbott: Software for Windows?

Costello: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What have you got?

Abbott: Office.

Costello: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?

Abbott: I just did.

Costello: You just did what?

Abbott: Recommend something.

Costello: You recommended something?

Abbott: Yes.

Costello: For my office?

Abbott: Yes.

Costello: OK, what did you recommend for my office?

Abbott: Office.

Costello: Yes, for my office!

Abbott: I recommend Office with Windows.

Costello: I already have an office with windows! OK, lets just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?

Abbott: Word.

Costello: What word?

Abbott: Word in Office.

Costello: The only word in office is office.

Abbott: The Word in Office for Windows.

Costello: Which word in office for windows?

Abbott: The Word you get when you click the blue "W".

Costello: I'm going to click your blue "w" if you don't start with some straight answers. OK, forget that. Can I watch movies on the Internet?

Abbott: Yes, you want Real One.

Costello: Maybe a real one, maybe a cartoon. What I watch is none of your business. Just tell me what I need!

Abbott: Real One.

Costello: If it's a long movie I also want to see reel 2, 3 & 4. Can I watch them?

Abbott: Of course.

Costello: Great! With what?

Abbott: Real One.

Costello: OK, I'm at my computer and I want to watch a
movie. What do I do?

Abbott: You click the blue "1".

Costello: I click the blue one what?

Abbott: The blue "1".

Costello: Is that different from the blue w?

Abbott: The blue "1" is Real One and the blue "W" is Word.

Costello: What word?

Abbott: The Word in Office for Windows.

Costello: But there's three words in "office for windows"!

Abbott: No, just one. But it's the most popular Word in the world.

Costello: It is?

Abbott: Yes, but to be fair, there aren't many other Words left. It pretty much
wiped out all the other Words out there.

Costello: And that word is real one?

Abbott: Real One has nothing to do with Word. Real One isn't even part of Office.

Costello: STOP! Don't start that again. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?

Abbott: Money.

Costello: That's right. What do you have?

Abbott: Money.

Costello: I need money to track my money?

Abbott: It comes bundled with your computer

Costello: What's bundled with my computer?

Abbott: Money.

Costello: Money comes with my computer?

Abbott: Yes. No extra charge.

Costello: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?

Abbott: One copy.

Costello: Isn't it illegal to copy money?

Abbott: Microsoft gave us a license to copy money.

Costello: They can give you a license to copy money?

Abbott: Why not? THEY OWN IT!

A FEW DAYS LATER . .

Abbott: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

Costello: How do I turn my computer off?

Abbott: Click on "START"..........